Wardrobe Malfunction

Today I was going to be a really good mom. No classes scheduled, I put work aside called a mom of my kid's friends and invited them to go to a new indoor play area. I packed a lunch: grapes, cheese, apples and whole grain crackers. The juice boxes were on ice. I packed sweatshirts, extra socks, printed up the directions from mapquest. I put on comfortable clothes and pulled my hair back so I could play with the kids if they so desired. The other mom and I met, she followed me. I drove the speed limit, I didn't get lost. I was the picture of a perfect mother today.

I parked and unloaded my beasts, our lunch, etc. I walked to the door with one babe on my hip and the other holding my hand. I noticed a funny breeze. A chill? Did I sit on one of the ice packs for our lunch? Did I spill some chilled juice on my car seat? Oh, no...





My big ass was hanging out. This picture doesn't do it justice. Upright nearly my whole cheek was visible. Now, how I put on a pair of pants with a six inch hole, not a rip, a hole in the back, and wore them around for five hours without noticing...? Don't get me wrong, I'm not conservative, if I had planned to let me ass hang out (which I've been known to do) I wouldn't have been bothered. However, me and the other moms in this area (Lexus driving, lipstick wearing, moms who have my perfect morning everyday) well I just don't know how it would have gone over. Anyway, nuff said. Thank God for sweatshirts.