The Edge of Something

I'm in bad mom land again tonight. At this moment my ten month old is screaming as if his heart will break. I've indulged him for too long and he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep. He's learning the hard way now and I am too aware of the fact that it is my laziness, my faults that have created the sad state we are in tonight. I know this stage will pass. But when Cai calls to me from his bed, "Mama, why are you leaving Choco alone?" It hits that mother nerve that makes me want to crawl in bed with both of them until they boot me out.