Renewal
Cai was an egg maniac this morning. The Bunny was good to him this year, go figure. After three nights of screaming and crying I laid Choco down in his bed last night, he turned his head to the side as though nursing and instantly fell asleep. Small miracles I tell you. To even things out he yelled for about 45 minutes before submitting to a nap today.
Last night I had another tiny sad-fest filling Easter baskets. It was yesterday that we filled stockings, I swear. I really need to get my footing and soak up all this good stuff.
My father has planted bulbs all around the houses. Daffodils and tulips and crocus and hyacinth. A few have blossomed but there is a promise in the form of one million green shoots all down our little hill. It is another reason that I hesitate to go home this week. Jaya is my only motivation. He has to go back to work and I want to be with him, otherwise I would never leave this place.
Today Jaya and I moved my grandmother's couch into our sitting room in front of the wood stove. My mother had hauled it onto my grandma's back deck. Replaced by a sectional with dual recliners and a place to put your soda can. My grandmother had the couch for at least twenty years before I was born. It has been reupholstered four times. I have sat on it thousands of times. Napped on it as a child and an adult. Opened Christmas and birthday presents on it. Combed my grandpa's thinning hair on it. Nursed both my children on it. It's mine now, and I miss my grandma in a keener way today than I have in these past two months. This is our first holiday without her. My first holiday without her. I hope she reads this and knows.
Two days ago the boys and I went with my parents to dinner and on the way home we stopped at the market. My parents went in for ice cream and I sat wedged between the two car seats. Solomon got fidgety so I started to sing a song - it escapes me at the moment - but I sang it silly and with dramatic pauses. Usually my boys have different senses of humor. While Choco giggles at loud hiccupping, Cai tends towards physical comedy like tripping and pretending to injure yourself. I digress. My point is that for a couple of minutes I had both of them cracking up. They laughed at every silly word I said and for a second I got a glimpse of what comedians feel times ten. To make people laugh is wonderful, to make your children laugh is pure, pure heaven.
Last night I had another tiny sad-fest filling Easter baskets. It was yesterday that we filled stockings, I swear. I really need to get my footing and soak up all this good stuff.
My father has planted bulbs all around the houses. Daffodils and tulips and crocus and hyacinth. A few have blossomed but there is a promise in the form of one million green shoots all down our little hill. It is another reason that I hesitate to go home this week. Jaya is my only motivation. He has to go back to work and I want to be with him, otherwise I would never leave this place.
Today Jaya and I moved my grandmother's couch into our sitting room in front of the wood stove. My mother had hauled it onto my grandma's back deck. Replaced by a sectional with dual recliners and a place to put your soda can. My grandmother had the couch for at least twenty years before I was born. It has been reupholstered four times. I have sat on it thousands of times. Napped on it as a child and an adult. Opened Christmas and birthday presents on it. Combed my grandpa's thinning hair on it. Nursed both my children on it. It's mine now, and I miss my grandma in a keener way today than I have in these past two months. This is our first holiday without her. My first holiday without her. I hope she reads this and knows.
Two days ago the boys and I went with my parents to dinner and on the way home we stopped at the market. My parents went in for ice cream and I sat wedged between the two car seats. Solomon got fidgety so I started to sing a song - it escapes me at the moment - but I sang it silly and with dramatic pauses. Usually my boys have different senses of humor. While Choco giggles at loud hiccupping, Cai tends towards physical comedy like tripping and pretending to injure yourself. I digress. My point is that for a couple of minutes I had both of them cracking up. They laughed at every silly word I said and for a second I got a glimpse of what comedians feel times ten. To make people laugh is wonderful, to make your children laugh is pure, pure heaven.
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