Is it a crime to take a shit alone? My two year old would answer, without hesitation, yes. It's not just that I like to go the bathroom alone. It's also that it is often my only time alone. The only time someone isn't asking me for something, the only two minutes I have to read a few pages of a book - aside from the obvious reasons one might rather be alone. Today I was attempting to take 90 seconds in the bathroom when Cai came in - "Mama, do you want to play cars? Mama, I can't find no pieces to da puzzle and I am yooking and yooking. Mama..." So, frusterated and tired and fed up I put my foot down and said that I needed him to give me a moment, which he refused. So I do the ultimate horrible mother act of betrayal, yes folks, I actually CLOSE THE DOOR. The moment it clicks into place there is chaos on the other side. Screaming and crying, tears come pouring from underneath the door. This lasts for approximately thirty seconds, there is a slight pause, then silence. For a split second I think I have won. Don't get me wrong, I finished doing my business some time back, at this point it is a matter of principle. Nonetheless I feel that it is a triumph of sorts and that my son and I have come to an understanding. I asked, he gave, and maybe we are moving on to a more mature place in our relationship - a give and take stage, if you will. Then I hear, megaphone-style, through the crack of the door which he clearly has his mouth pressed up against a muffled: "Mama? Mama. MA_MAAAAAA. Are you done? Mama, are you done? MAMA?! ARE YOU DONE?"

Yes, today my love, I am done.