Living in the house of God

So a short while back we almost bought this church. Over a hundred years old - I'd coveted this church for several years. Lived in for the past 25 by an aging artist, complete with a full acre of land, a bamboo forrest, two ponds and more magic than my mind could wrap around. So on a whim we made an offer, it was accepted and I started to dream daily about raising my children in this bedroomless castle. I saw them riding bikes through the congregation room on rainy Sundays. I saw gauzy curtains, coffee on Sunday mornings, gatherings of friends and a life that seemed like something I could only dream. Turns out I was right. Too much of a fixer-upper and the backup offer was willing to pay a higher price. I knew walking away was the right thing, that it was too big a bite, but that didn't change the lingering sting that still echoes a bit. So night before last I had a dream that I was standing where the church now stands, but the house was gone and I'm looking into the sky and talking to God. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I know I was angry that it was gone and that I was also telling him/her(?) how grateful I was for my life. Yesterday, about an hour after recalling this dream the real estate agent called to tell me the backup offer wanted to negotiate and we were welcome to throw in our bid again. I got off the phone knowing that I would not go back, and called a good friend of mine who often sees my soul clearly. She told me my dream was about letting the house go, and suddenly I saw my beautiful church, saw it lift up into the sky and go. And while the ache isn't yet gone, I knew she was right and I still wonder why God didn't want me to raise these babies in his house. I keep trying to figure out what it all means, convinced that it means something. Should I move on? Should I search for the church I'm truly supposed to live in? Should I become a baptist? Should I sell my soul for a box of toothpicks? I just don't know. I do know that the church would've been too much work and it would've taken too much attention away from my kids. I also know that when I went to my father's house yesterday he had a trailer full of 13 old royal blue church pews he was thinking of buying from some woman who called him yesterday and offered them to him for free. I also know that a minute ago I noticed a tiny, hairy little green inchworm crawling across my computer screen. He hasn't gotten very far, but he's going somewhere and I'm wondering if I should ask his advice. Wondering if he's God trying to tell me something. Or maybe he's just another guy making his way in the world. Maybe he's looking for his own house of God. Maybe he's found it right here.